You ever have the feeling where you had a crush on someone and for whatever reason (rejection, drifted apart, etc.) you don’t any more so then you see them post something on their Facebook or whatever and you think, wow…what did I even see in this girl (or guy if you like guys). I have this more than I should in my opinion, but it’s so weird sometimes to just see their photo and think wow, in my mind you were like a flawless Disney Princess (when i say flawless like a Disney Princess i am referring to their looks only as they are always “flawed” in other ways) but you aren’t that way because of course you are a human but the world of love gives me big “perfect-scenario” goggles, so I imagine these girls like they are amazing porcelain dolls that are just absolutely pure and perfect then one thing just shatters that image and its ruined for me. It’s really hard to shake but i’m working on it. The girl that sparked this post changed her profile photo this past week and it just made me really realize that she is not my type, I only thought she was because shes cute and has a rockin’ bum (if you know me you know how much of an ass man I am) and she was friendly to me. In reality she and I really don’t have much in common, certainly not enough to sustain a relationship longer than 5 minutes. Even as friends she and I don’t speak anymore all that much and thats fine because we run in different circles anyways and also i find her to be a bit too much of a walking stereotype now.
The point is I put people on pedestals and then it makes anyone seem inadequate when I compare them to my version, my view of them. I’m a perfectionist by nature, for example I finish what I start. If I buy the first film in a set I will buy the rest to make it complete even if I do not like the rest (exceptions however exist in this for obvious reasons i.e. Indiana Jones 4). I do not consider a video game beaten unless its 100% complete. etc. etc. It is just how I operate but when that trait leaks into aspects of my life that it can cause issue it needs to be changed so that is what I am doing. No more “she is so fun and amazing and cool and beautiful and smart! I wonder what ours kids will look like?!” “umm…you just met her..” no more of this crazy fast-forwarded attitude, as much as I want the end result of marriage, family, security, etc. you have to do ALL the steps to get to what you want, no short-cuts, no running 100mph into a releationshp and wrecking something with potential because I come on so strongly.
Time for change.